In my study at the moment we are looking at our SHAPE.  SHAPE is an acronym and stands for:

S = Spiritual Gifts
H = Heart
A = Abilities
P = Personality
E = Experience

The lectures and assignments are all about trying to work out what I am good at, where I fit, what I could be doing, and how to get a deeper understanding of who I am and what has shaped me so far in life.

I started with experiences and then looked at my abilities and last week it was all about personality. I have done a few different tests on this over the years, but can’t actually remember what I was in the whole sanguine, melancholic, and more, personality thing, so I thought I would start again and have a go at the Enneagram.

Since I was doing it, I invited Kerrilee to join me and we did out tests together.

That made for some very funny and insightful moments. As we went through each question together, many of them highlighted our similarities and others our differences!

There were three or four questions we answered that were lightbulb moments, highlighting how opposite we were, but none more so than the question below:

We both laughed at this question and put down opposite answers. You can see mine highlighted by the blue text.

Here is the question in case you can’t see the picture above:

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Question 69 of 144

• I have spent a lot of time looking inward—understanding my feelings has been important to me.
  
• I have not spent much time looking inward—getting things done has been important to me.

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My answer was the second one!

Task Oriented

I am so task oriented. It is all about the doing.

Why would I want to be all looking inward at feelings etc., when there are things to do and make, places to be, lots happening?

Now, I’m not against feeling at all. They are extremely important. If we didn’t have them, we would be mechanic and machine like. I feel things all the time. For some people, like Kerrilee, they may look at, examine, try to understand those feelings. I just don’t always do that, and to be really honest, probably don’t do it unless things are really bad or I am forced to.

That has both good and bad outcomes to it!

Understanding Feelings

Understanding feelings and looking inward at the feelings and the why and how I feel can help me to grow. Getting a deeper understanding of who I am and how I tick, now that is important.

But sometimes we can get so bogged down in those feelings and let them stop us from doing or being all we can be. They can hinder us, hurt us and stop us growing. It is a fine balance and one that I have sought help to understand, examine and find the tools and ways to look at and sit with those feelings.

I found a counsellor to help me sit with them and work through them. My default is to always go to the doing first, but understanding my feelings isn’t something I totally shy away from these days.

I like that God makes us all different. That life makes us all different. The challenge is always what do I change to make me a better person? That is what I am thinking about this week.

Cheers

Oh, and I am an Enneagram 9: The Peacemaker with a 6: The Loyalist as my other top score.